Feeding Centre, Nigeria

Guards, North Korea

Diver Underwater, Santa Clara

Ballet School, Sweden

Fruit Bats, Zambia

After the Tsunami

Commemoration of the Tsunami Victims, Thailand

Painting Village, Shenz

Ballet Class, Alexandra Township

At the Horse Races, Australia

Man and Hyena, Nigeria

Diving Competition, Montreal

Casket Arrives, Reno



Boy Helps Father, Sierra Leone

I mentioned in my previous post that I was feeling a bit “off”. It was my excuse for being a lazy, slacker and not posting. Well guess what, it was for real. I’m pregnant. Again. Man, that Kevin has some super demon sperm. That or I am one fertile bitch. Let’s just call this little guy a pleasant surprise. (I’m SURE it’s a boy.)

We are both excited (& yet crapping our pants at the same time) to have a new addition to our family. However, I am not excited about being pregnant. I HATE being pregnant. I gain tons of weight (just what I need, right?), get such bad indigestion that I have to sleep sitting up, have horrible skin issues, lose my hair and am permanently grumpy. Sounds hot, right? Lucky Kevin. I do not find pregnancy to be a wonderful, beautiful experience. I can’t stand it! I just want the kid out of me. I wish I could skip the whole pregnancy part and just get the kid. (I guess that would be called adoption, no?)

I can’t wait for Nathan to have a partner in crime. They can climb on the kitchen table together and do all sorts of other bad things to drive me insane. Speaking of Nathan, I think it’s pretty undeniable that he is a freakishly good-looking kid. It’s just not normal. Can you imagine this poor bastard having to be compared to that? Let’s just pray to the genetic jackpot God that this kid wins too or he might have to be in therapy by the time he is 3. If this kid turns out as cute as Nathan, I think Kevin and I will need to start selling babies on eBay. I think we could make some big bucks.

I am very early in the pregnancy (baby due end of November), so I hope I didn’t just do some voodoo-jinx shit by telling everyone, but I’m excited and couldn’t hold it in.

I think 3 kids means that I am now officially a breeder. Scary.

Note to self: get tubes tied.

I have no excuse for not posting lately. I just haven’t felt like it. I’ve been feeling a bit “off” lately. I won’t bore you with the details. I’ll just leave it at that and apologize for being such a slacker.

Life has been crazy around here. Lauren switched soccer teams 2 weeks ago. Soccer is a huge part of this household (3-4 days a week), so when such a major change happens, it stirs things up quite a bit. The switch is a definite upgrade, as they are ranked pretty high in the state and very high in the Kansas City area. Her first game with them was last weekend and she played awesome! I was very proud.

My parents were in town last weekend from Philadelphia. They came to celebrate Lauren’s birthday. It was a very short trip. Less than 72 hours. However, my stepmother did more in that 72 hours than I usually do in 3 months. She shopped galore, fixed stuff around our house, put stuff together and played with the kids. She must take some serious speed, as no normal human being could perform at her pace. (Not joking)

It was so nice to see my dad. Even though he is totally neurotic…I still miss him like crazy. He’s always been my rock and it’s very hard for me not to have him around. He’s an awesome grandfather too. It’s nice to see him enjoy the kids so much.

That’s it for now. I promise to be much more entertaining in the very near future, I just don’t have it in me right now. I’m so tired. Love to all.

Can you guess who's ass this is?

Forgiveness is something I have always struggled with. I am ashamed to admit this, but I am one to hold a grudge for a very long time. People who deeply hurt me are usually cut from my life forever. In general, I have a one-strike policy. I know this is a tough standard to live by and even tougher standard for other people to live by, but it is how I cut the “fat” from my life. To sort the good from the bad.

I am currently in a situation where someone who has hurt and betrayed me in the past has re-entered my life. I’m very apprehensive to re-establish this relationship because my heart still carries the scars of the past wrongdoings. I am really struggling as to whether or not to give this person a second chance. I know the right thing to do is to forgive, but as a flawed human being…it’s just not that easy.

As I am getting older, I am learning that life is too short to hold grudges and I should just forgive and move on, but does anyone know the secret formula to make that happen easily…because I don’t.

The Oscars are boring to me. I really don’t care who wins. Hollywood has way too many award shows. The movie industry really is the most narcissistic professional community around. Can you imagine doctors or teachers having that many ceremonies to give themselves awards? If anyone really deserves public accolades, wouldn’t it be them? Anyway...

I do like to watch the Oscars for one reason and one reason only…the fashion.

First off, I thought Michelle Williams stole the show. She by far looked the best. Her dress was beautiful and her hair and make-up were stunning. She really couldn’t have looked more radiant. I thought it was a tie for the worst dressed. (besides the obvious Helena Bonham-Carter) The worst dressed honor in my eyes was shared between Charlize Theron and Naomi Watts. Charlize usually nails it on the head. Normally she looks stunning. Last night she looked ridiculous. I know the Oscars are boring, but did she really need that pillow attached to her shoulder? And the dress didn’t even fit her properly. Naomi is usually either dead on or dead off. Unfortunetly, she was dead off last night. Yikes.

Jessica Alba looked gross. She looked WAY too skinny and her hair looked like a style my 82-year-old grandmother would wear. She really needs to go eat some cheeseburgers and give Ken Paves a call. Although too skinny, Nicole Kidman looked beautiful. I also thought Uma Thurman, Felicity Huffman and Selma Hayek looked great.

Reese Witherspoon looked a little old in that dress, but she really could not have been any cuter. Her speech was by far the best and most endearing of the night.

The men bore me. Not much they can do with their tux. However, Will Smith did stand out to me. His tux was cool. He’s a tool, but his stylist picked a nice tuxedo. (I couldn't find a good pic.)

I thought Jon Stewart did well. I have always liked him and totally have a secret crush on him. He’s funny as shit on The Daily Show and was entertaining last night. I want his babies.

Lily Tomlin is fuckin awesome. I first fell in love with her in The Incredible Shrinking Woman and then Nine to Five. I totally want to hang out with her. She is seriously the epitome of cool.

One thing that really annoyed me was that they played music the entire time during people’s speeches. What the hell was that about? I found it very distracting and seemed somewhat rude. Bad decision on the producers’ part.

All in all, it was boring, but at least I got to see Jennifer Gardner trip.

Michelle Williams was my pick for best dressed.

Honorable mentions:

Nicole Kidman

Felicity Huffman. The dress was ok, but she looked awesome close up. She's 43 and she looked hot!

Uma Thurman

Selma Hayek



The obviously bad.

Helena Bonham-Carter


The suprisingly bad.

Charlize Thernon

Naomi Watts

The "you're so skinny you're going to die any second award" goes to:

Jessica Alba.


The over "overrated award" goes to:

Kiera Knightley. Nice fake hair.


The "I wore a matronly dress, but I'm still so cute award" goes to:

Reese Witherspoon

RE: I do dumb shit.

Let me just preface this by saying that this is THE MOST embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I cannot believe I am blogging about this!!! I am only doing so because I have never laughed so hard in my entire life and thought it would be greedy to keep such a funny ass story to myself. I was laughing so hard that I was literally on the floor, snorting, had some spit fly out and got such bad stomach cramps from laughing so hard that I thought I would need to seek medical treatment. Really, it’s one to go in the record books. I doubt I will ever top it in my entire life.

Ok, this is the situation. As you all know, the hubby is out of town this week on business. When he is gone I really miss him. I call him, email him and send him pictures of the kids. Blah, blah, blah. I also thought it would be fun to email him a “provocative” picture of me (I’m just that kind of wife.), as he is the only person in the whole universe that actually likes my body. Send nudy pics to husband while he’s away…fun, right? No big deal.

I whipped off my top and Daniele got the camera out. We turned on Kylie Minogue’s “Can’t get you out of my Head” really loud. Then we locked the door and she started directing me. She moved my hair one way, then another and arranged my body in every position possible and started taking pictures. She told me to channel Tawny Kitaen from the Whitesnake video…and I did. I need to tell you that we were in tears while doing this because we were laughing so hard. This is something that you could only do with your very best girlfriend in the entire world!!!!! Even through all of the laughter, I must say… the picture actually turned out very hot.

This is where the “big deal” part comes in. I BCC myself on most emails I send people. Reason one is that I like to know that the email actually went through. I can’t figure out another way to do that on Hotmail. Reason two being that Hotmail does not automatically keep the email you send unless you check a little box at the bottom, which I ALWAYS forget to check, so I just BCC myself so I have a copy of the email. It’s a system that has always worked for me up until this point.

Let me give you some back-story. My husband’s very religious aunt and I have the exact same name. First, middle and last. Her email address and mine are the exact same except she uses another service. Do you see where I am going here? I accidentally BCC’d her instead of me on the email with the “provocative” picture. No “recall message” offered on Hotmail. Now, I have no proof that she received the email (I haven’t heard from her yet), but I did hit send and I never received it in my email account, so that could only mean one thing. I must have sent it to her address instead of mine. Holy shit, right!!!

I freaked out a bit at first; for about 10 minutes and then I laughed so hard I almost vomited. It’s seriously the most embarrassing moment in my life.

Aren’t you glad you asked Alli! It’s a doozy.

I apologize for not writing a lot this week, but it’s been crazy around here with the hubby out of town. The baby is a full-time job. He really is exhausting. Luckily, we’ve had beautiful weather for the past few days, so we have been able to take him outside a lot. Also helpful is the fact that my BGF Daniele is here. She’s keeping my sanity intact. I think I would be six feet under now if she weren’t here.

Daniele and I are hitting the town tomorrow night. God only knows what kind of trouble we are going to get into. Boy, do I have stories I could tell you of all of our previous escapades. (Some funny shit, so maybe I’ll write about them??)

I really miss my husband. I don’t feel whole without him. I am so ready for him to come home. Daniele and I have had some good times this week, but nothing compares to being with him. He’s my baby’s daddy and my best friend and my heart hurts without him here.

This is Daniele and I at the park yesterday. I think we scared all of the other moms away. Aren't we hot!